Bueno.

Well Buenos Aires, you’ve got me tongue tied.

“¿Che que onda?”

My thoughts exactly, what is going on? A month navigating Spanish in Guatemala was helpful...for the classroom. For the street, everyone might as well be speaking Portuguese. Porteños, or la gente de Buenos Aires, located on the mouth of the Río Plata, love their version of slang—lunfardo, customizing new vocabulary could almost be a national pastime. Well ¡Che Boludo!, how to even translate that ever-so-popular greeting? Once insult now turned affectionate is used for everything and everyone from your neighbor to your 5 yr. old cousin—“Eh Ché, quieres un café?!” Then, with a flip of tone it can become very much an insult once again if you’re not careful. Argentinos, especially Porteños, call it like it is, commonly referring to people by their physical attributes: “¿Gordita, vamos a la playa?” Of course, as a term of gordita/gordito is also a common term of endearment for very skinny people and young children. While flaco could very well be used to address a very large man.
Mix the strong penchant for lunfardo with a strong slur on ‘ll’ or ‘y’ sounds to sound like ‘sh’ or ‘j’, misho instead of mio. Add in lots of Italian and Spanish blood, and there’s still no way to describe a typical porteño. They’re a mix of people that can have an entire conversation just through hand gestures. It’s honestly enthralling just to watch them have conversations sometimes, even when you have no idea what’s going on.
Yet there is a part of Porteño culture that needs no translation, it may also be my favorite part: the kissing here is contagious. One must siempre kiss on the cheek as a greeting, announcing, “!hola estoy aqui, prestame attenciónnnnnn!” At once very intimate and friendly, it is done upon first meeting someone, while the concept of personal space and formal handshakes is non-existently humorous here. Well then Beso. Besito, Besame Buenos Aires, ‘cause here I am